Nike.

"You're going to feel like hell if you wake up someday and you never wrote the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart: your stories, memories, visions and songs — your truth, your version of things — in your own voice. That's really all you have to offer us, and that's also why you were born." 
- Anne Lamott shares 12 truths I learnt

Interesting lady. Truths to grapple with. I'd recommend reading her speech, or watching it. But that leaves me sitting here this morning parsing through the many thoughts tumbling through my head and the stuff layering up in my heart. And wondering what I need to write today.

Exams. Jess wrote exams. Her spelling killed her English mark (and my writer within crumbles in despair) but at the same time she shone in other areas. Are her marks a reflection of the effort I put in to helping her? Or my frustration at the "I don't want to study"? Not sure I want to reflect too deeply on this. My dearest friend shared how much she had learnt about her daughter's learning style in this time. I think I learnt about my frustration levels and lack of patience. Ick. Shove that thought somewhere where I don't have to examine it. It's a bit like dog poo. It smells and spreads.

My version of things? Hmm. Now that is an interesting concept, Anne Lamott. My writing is actually my version. And I guess that some people won't like it. But then this life is my version, my struggles, my falling and my climbing back up. Hopefully to grace. Lifted by grace.

Work. Ew. Don't feel like it. House work. I'm not going there. Monica did not arrive today and I'm stuck between grumpy, resigned and slightly ashamed of my reliance on help to clean our home once a week. It's a bit pathetic, isn't it? And yes I do provide employment for someone else which enables them to live, but really? Ultimate display of wealth?

Oh dear, this post is rather morbid this morning. It comes from reading news, watching Knysna fires and feeling a bit isolated in my study. Best snap to it and get busy with the banner ad I need to put together, a website I can update and a comms session I have to host next week. Mom's version of an oral.

Grateful for the rain still trickling down and the drips I hear from the gutter. The pool is overflowing, the geese are yabbering on next door's roof and the sun just peered through a cloud and vanished again. Our trees look a little bit like they have been caught without leaves on, mildly embarrassed, although it wasn't their fault that the storm stripped them so mercilessly last week. I have planting veggie gardens on my list of things to do, rearranging the pavers in the back garden, mowing the lawn (the one patch that is green and thriving where the outlet pipe comes out), tidying my house, lots of amassed washing... oh you know.

Nike. Just do it is a-good-kick-in-the-pants sometimes. Whoever reads this, please take a moment to do the thing that kickstarts you today. xx