Day 43 – Checking out

I love weekends. I love the slow starts, breakfast, the sense of time that I have. The fact that we try to do no-screen Saturday-Sundays. We packed up some items to pass on to friends, some belated birthday gifts and the shopping bags and I set out to pick up veg which was in short supply earlier in the week and drop off some items (safely, without personal contact of course).

It was insane how busy the shops were. I drove past Spar (queues outside), then the new Emporium (the parking lot was overflowing), so I opted to do the WW at the petrol station. Back past 2 friends, then saw our local shopping centre looked like a normal Saturday which meant I drove on by and chose to stop at the little Indian shop. Bliss – fresh hot samosas straight from the frying pan! HH was enamoured of me as he slowly crunched through.

We lost ourselves in an entire series of Shaun the Sheep last night. Seriously. We laughed until we cried. Aardman is just brilliant!

And Sunday? Well, quiet morning with online church, calls with my brother and a bestie, a braai, an afternoon nap and then some Netflix. Oh the ecstasy of my youngest at the reality of braai, pork chops, roosterkoek, marshmallows and, ta da, for teatime, a milk tart!

 

The eldest got a new book and disappeared for 4 hours, emerging blinking myopically and happy.

My weekend highlights?  Phone calls with friends, fewer screens, good books, cats sleeping on the end of the bed.

Sadness for a friend who lost her 93 year old ouma (but thankfully, in her sleep last night without trauma). A giggle at my mom who saw that one of her neighbours was selling masks because she put a sample on her gatepost to let people know  this was where to purchase – mum stopped and tried on the sample then popped it back in the packet because, you know, one should always try before one buys. Concern that the coronavirus deathtoll is 200,000 worldwide. Joy to chat to my brother. Laughter and head slaps at small boys and their need for dangerous toys! Eek at hitting our internet cap tonight.

It’s Freedom Day tomorrow. I wonder how many people will really feel free in our country? I’m guessing that Freedom tomorrow HAS to be something of the heart, not the body. As Mandela demonstrated in his life.

I’m reminded of Brave Heart’s final scene where William Wallace is broken and dying. Of the camera that pans to his clenched hand as a final cry of “freeedoommm” is wrenched from his soul and a small blue scrap of his wedding wrap flutters free with his last breath.

America shouts “give me liberty or give me death”. Tonight I think, South Africa, that we, all of us, have the call of “give me liberty or give me freedom”. Perhaps liberty is my right to do. But I think freedom is different. Freedom is my gift to be.

Day 41 – Checking in

Yesterday I had to do a shop, so I ventured south for the first time in a month. I haven’t been near Tokai since lockdown, so the not-so-empty mall was a new and slightly stressful experience. Queues outside Checkers Hyper which felt like the person behind was breathing down my neck. Queues in Dischem. Walking out into the parking lot was a relief as I navigated my trolley back to the car parked as far as I could so I could walk more. But then the sense of eyes watching me as I pushed a full trolley and unloaded it. Unfriendly eyes. Ugh. Stressful.

The neighbour is running our street food distribution so I offloaded some stuff with her and took our bounty home. Cyril was due to speak and actually, I just couldn’t. I hit the wall. Brene Brown says that if you cannot climb it, go around it or go under it, sometimes you just need to build a fort and take a nap. So I did.

Today was a 2-hour discussion on education in South Africa using tech and the way forward with experts from around the country. Our primary school is way ahead of the curve and our kids are so fortunate in their schooling.

Fridays are picnic lunch next to the pool, with cats attending and hopeful.

The youngest learnt that if you chat to your friends on Google chat you have to still do school after lunch. It was a traumatic realisation. The firstborn discovered that putting off the subjects you don’t like (and watching animal rescue on YouTube) means you don’t get to play games in the afternoon like your sibling. Also a sad realisation. Behaviour has not yet changed for either. This is a house of cards that will come crashing down.

HH drank his second last beer, I had my 4th last half glass of wine (there is 2/3rds of the bottle left so I have been rationing) and we closed off the working week by watching James Bond in Thunderball. We’re working through the list but looks like we have to skip The Spy Who Loved Me as it's not very age-appropriate. The kids love the spy stuff but my gosh. James Bond was a lecher! And as for the attitude to women and of course, the 60s clothes, smoking, women’s styles with pointy boob bras and men always in suits… it’s been an education of an age thankfully gone by.

Day 40 - Check in

We implemented this two days ago but only did our first check in today.

Luke and Jess got 4 out of 5, Adam 3 out of 5 and I think I got 4. The one that we are missing this week (last week was better) is be active. The bike stand is out of commission for a tweak and painting. Argh. Tonight's mission is to put it back together again fast!

Day 39 - Climbing

Sometimes life feels a lot like climbing. The anticipation of preparation, finding gear, packing and then finally getting to the climbing site. Then unpacking, repacking and walking in with heavy packs. Finding a safe place to stash those packs. The adrenalin of setting up, buckling in harnesses and putting on helmets. Chalking hands. Checking the route guide one last time, and then at last, stepping onto the rock.

After that, it's (for me) belay and follow my leader. Giving slack, taking slack, listening to calls. Breathing when a belay ledge is reached and a pitch is done. A sore neck from looking up and working out where cams need to be placed or a certain move is made. Knowing that when I get there, my move will probably be quite different because I am not that tall or can't quite smear that indent on the rock. Working cams out and unpicking nuts. Sometimes falling but being caught. Often a moment or two of terror followed by hard self talk. Grazing fingers and trying to make it through without the obligatory bruise on my knee or shin. The feeling of finding a grip that is good. Topping out to views and space and joy. Quiet moments before the walk down.

Then a snack, review of the climb, hike back to the car, meal and a good long shower to fall into bed stretched and exhausted yet still feeling the lingering exhilaration of pushing your body beyond its comfort and truly being alive while the eagle flies past or the starlings complain.

Being a mom is a lot like being a belay bunny. You have to remember to follow the Leader, and know that He places gear protection in places that you can rely on, places that you can remove the nuts and cams when you move through without hammering on the rock. Learning to move lightly. That your reach is more than you thought and your body and mind can do more than you dreamed. Self talk - I can do this. Today.

Savouring the views that can be brief. Finding a feather or cast off skin on the ledge, knowing a raptor roosted here or a snake slid past and you see just the hint of what happened.

Not easy. But worth while. A rush and a push.

Faith, hope and love. Faith is the mountain. It's there, solid, unmoving. It's real. Hope is for tomorrow or what might be. Love is today, this moment, this pitch, this move I am on.

It's folding socks and shirts late at night when I am waiting for the monthly shoe to drop and the pile is between me and the bed and I want the day to end. It's wiping a counter and the floor. Meals. Toilet brushes. It's my present, not my past or future. Eskimo kisses and notes on a laptop which make me look up how to deal with sibling rivalry.

Climbing.

Day 37 - Check up

So this was our family check in this morning. Luke's comment: "Mom, you look a bit worried on yours!"

Here's the interpretation:
Dad has cleared out some of his inbox - happy face.
Jess does not feel like starting school today.
Luke is a bit overwhelmed by all the work dropping into his inbox.
Mom is... wondering what's going to be thrown at her today!

And that's that.

Day 34, 35, 36 - Co-existing, creating, constructing

And just like that the weekend is gone. Friday snuck in with Mom moving to the lounge to be in the middle of home school. Which meant that I did NO work whatsoever but the kids did some. I did however cover 2.75km just following kids around and walking between them on Friday morning! Take that, exercise nazis!

HH holed up in the study and emerged briefly for meals, restorative hugs and a glimpse at the skies. Working from home is not quieter but seems more frenetic with volumes increasing and managers requiring xy and z by 5pm (requesting it at 4.15pm). Hmmph. I've seen the dedication and mentoring and energy HH pours out. It's buckets-full.

We broke into the pace and had a picnic lunch outside under the big tree together. Le Tat of course joined in. Plus Little Cat. A wonderful break!

On Saturday I did the weekly shop, driving out slowly and noting the long queues and listening to the comments around me. Flinching when someone coughed. Losing my shopping list again. Discovering that 18 eggs at WW cost R59 while you can get 18 for R29 at Checkers, if you don't mind them not being free range. Finding out that my neighbour who works for an armed response company spent R2500 of her salary feeding our neighbourhood this week. Yikes.

I got home to find out that HH had finished the bike stand - woo hoo! Small boy immediately leapt on and cycled 10km. First real exercise for days. It's fab! Then HH hopped on and cycled for 30 min at speed. He stopped after the seat descended suddenly on minute 29.5.  Add in some pool-er-cise with an old climbing rope around the waist, tied to the bougainvillea, and we have all become very active. Beats running around the pool by a mile, if you don't mind pardoning the pun.

And I finally got my tween to engage with various people as she has been ignoring the phone-a-friend edict. Simple strat, really. Call the friend, hand the phone over. Works like a charm!  Lovely to see her start to light up and touch base with friends and family instead of hiding in her novels.

Sunday was quiet, snoozes, yummy food, a 3-way call with some besties (and their dogs, cat, kids, husbands, illegal friends and my squirrel - quite quiet really!!)  cupcake and clothing drop for 3 families, Jamesie Bondie for movie night. Milo and some choc to share. And now bed. I can't get the photos to work so no pics except the ones I may have triggered in your minds.

The girl child has arrived for her nightly chat. About 20 minutes after she is meant to be in bed. Au revoir. I need to close this down as she is wagging her finger at me. 

:)

Day 33 - Cumbayaaaaaa

Dear Dairy

School continues. With diversions to YouTube and Minecraft. And hundreds of metres travelled between my office and the schooling station. I fear I might need a little whine tonight. Preferably red.

The highlight of my day was food parcels being dropped door-to-door and the safety of the droppees. Neither of whom have the luxury of red red wine. And dear dairy, before you feel miffed I might be trading allegiance, I only bought two bottles of Tangled Tree whereas I bought quite a few of your kin.

The highs and lows. The work and the kids. The bushveld and the Afrikaans online tasks. Khayelitsha vs suburbia. Perhaps the lines are less defined than you think with families quietly sighing in thanks for food drops in my street too.

My dear dairy, perhaps you are slightly more "common" than the Cab Sav. But it is a CHOCOLATE cab sav.

I find common ground everywhere these days - whether in Nkomazi or in my southern suburbs. In previous days we might have raised a glass to our beloved country. Perhaps (with the alcohol ban) we should heed the cry of our beloved country. Listen closer.

Salut Thursday.

Day 32: Cumbaya

The thrill of online school is wearing off fast. Only day two. Spotted these emails from my kids to their teachers:

Dear Mr I

I am finding it very hard to be doing online work even though I have a very tech based life. I kind of don't know what to do and when to do it + my computer is a 10 year old Dell running on Linux ( I'm having a big upgrade at the end of the month ). Do you have any tips on this?

There was also the classic chat I spotted...

Oh, and I loved this email to the headmaster sent by Kid 1:

Hi Mr P***

How are you?Are you surviving lock down? 

I have few questions to ask you.

Do you know when the Gr 7 exams will be for Term 2. Will the government  make a different planner for the year?  Do you know what will happen to the Gr 7 tour? Will the Gr 7's even go on tour?

Thank you 

stay safe

It got a great reply:

Hi J***

We are surviving and enjoying the family time.

These are all good questions.. I can guess at the right answers, but I will probably be wrong.

There will definitely be a new term planner. Maybe even no holidays!!!!!!

I really would love to see the tour go ahead, but we won't know until we get back to school.

How is the work going. Is it too much?

To which my child answered...

Thank you for answering my questions

Mr W*** gave us 70 pages of math  to do before the end of next week I am not sure I am going to survive

LOL and LOL very L!!!  I think this sums up my day. Along with plank-offs for morning tea bribery and cappuccino muffins to ensure that chores were done. Preliminary news articles suggest that schools might only go back in June/July. Eek.

However, the BEST news ever came in a few minutes ago. HCI Foundation donated over R100,000 worth of food relief parcels to families one of my NPOs deals with in Khayelitsha. The first food parcels went out to 4 sections this afternoon and the rest are being delivered tomorrow morning. I am so thrilled at this amazing gift to families who truly do know the meaning of "frugal". Privileged to work for people like this!

Day 31: C,c,c ...coming!

It's official. School is back and we are online learning specialists. Though HOW a certain maths teacher for Grade 7 expects the kids to do SEVENTY pages of maths in the next 7 school days I really don't know. HH offered to add a tot of something restorative to my tea this afternoon when that went down!!

The young padawan was at his computer well before the allocated hour, keen and eager and mildly desperate to get online. He tore through his lists and was done by 10am, then wanted to play games for the rest of the day. "That's a negative, Skywalker!"

The older padawan threw virtual light sabers everywhere, shredded a few people in the family but generally survived the LOUD music she was listening to while clearing a few items from her to do list. She loves the Piano Guys so I don't fuss too much. They are pretty amazing musicians.

HH and I headed out at 5 for our exercise session, which I knew I would need because of the supper I was planning. Chicken and mushroom pie, followed by mini apple pies for dessert. Yummmm. It did lead to lots of "MOM"s being yelled along with pleas for more. If only we could get the kids out and running around with us. I do a minimum 2km run each day and am impressed with my progress as I actually dislike running a lot. I'd rather hike! I do add to the workout by carrying the cat for some distance too. I call it weight training and he is NOT light!  None of us want to roll out of lockdown in a country that is struggling for food.

Which leads to the quote of the day: "Who the heck knows what frugal living is?!" delivered by a tween who obviously does NOT know anything about frugality. The question was asked loudly while she was inspecting the fridge (hee hee). Oi vey!

Time to loadshed the house to get said tween to bed. Hoping the essay due on frugal living will trigger some good conversations.

Cccccooooommmming! And that's Day 31 done and dusted. Where did it go?

Day 30: Cra... oops!

Hmm. I see that I have somehow lost a week and last posted a week ago on Tuesday. I could try writing umpteen posts but let me put you out of any foreseen misery and just summarise right here and right now.

Today is the first official day of school. I am amazed at how much work Grade 7 has and how much work Grade 5 can complete (along with chores like wiping down bathroom, tidying bedroom, sweeping berries and doing all homework) so that he can get to Minecraft this morning. Let this be a record, it is also the first morning they are both up, dressed, eating breakfast together and have made their beds immediately without an argument thus far. And - trumpets sounding or maybe a vuvuzela or two - we had a quick family devotional at breakfast time!

Ok, the update in pictures 'cos they are quite self-explanatory...

We're living with daily lists which work really well. I have experimented. No list, no chores get done. So each day starts with a list. This was my list from Day 7 which I turned into my Art Lockdown challenge contribution. 

Topic for the official day 13 (we're a bit ahead in our family day count) was the topic of waiting. I borrowed from Luke's cuboid egg project at school to do this.  

 

He who shall remain unnamed went couch surfing and broke the couch. Our first Saturday in official lockdown was spent doing couch repairs. The cat inspected and helped where he could!

No Saturday is complete without home made pizza, right?

 

 

Ninja continues to be in the middle of everything. Workshop, office work, online meetings and oh, look, dirty paw prints on my fresh white duvet cover! Sigh!

The tweeny gorgeous girl spent her first two weeks at home hidden in her room colouring in. This is one of her creations. I love it!

Notice the look on his face... stealing banana bread goes a bit wrong when the bottom of the rack falls off the counter... (hee hee).

The street has put together a whatsapp group to help families who are struggling. As we are on the border of a struggling suburb, struggling starts on the other side of our neighbour. One property on the right has 3 families all locked down together, with 7 children between them. One parent is an Uber driver and now has no income. Not sure what the others are doing. Food parcels are being quietly dropped off. And the old man who lives a bit further down on the left fell two nights ago and had to get to hospital - looks like he fractured a femur. 

I love our immediate neighbours. We've been trading computers through the electric fence, rusks, bits of plumbing and lots of ideas and chats. Thanks to them both kids have their own computers to go online separately which is a lifesaver this morning. 

Project Treehouse Upgrade - there's now a hammock platform, a nice floor to step onto and the treehouse platform has a trapdoor. Oh, and the tween added her own bookshelf to the back of the climbing wall for snacks and books! 

Clearing out old stationery to hand over to the families down the road to keep their kiddies occupied. And the parents sane!

 

My personal project - using our water polo goals as a template, I made some soccer goals for 4 small boys!  Lots of fun! I used old conduit for the frame, connectors and a piece of Luke's second soccer goal net.

 

I have discovered Ninja can be a bit of a gutter cat. And his space knowledge is limited as he keeps falling asleep on the book.

 

HH and HD have been working on a bike stand to get some different exercise in. The small boy got a welding lesson and it's progressing nicely after the long weekend!

 

Easter morning started a bit blearily for parents after Family Movie Night and CampOut in the lounge on Saturday night. We all finally went to sleep after 12, then the kids slept beautifully and I woke up every 30 minutes as the first winter rains raged and splattered on the french doors and window panes. The kids hopped up like the proverbial bunnies!! 

Our egg hunt this year had some non-choc additions which everyone seemed to be happy to find!

Followed by a yummy pancake breakfast on Family Day.

Most of my Family Day was spent doing the puzzle. In the workshop the bike project carried on and the kids grabbed the computer. We tuned in to hear an interview with an Astronaut and finished off the week by going to bed at a reasonable hour to be ready for the new school week. 

And that brings me back to this morning. Ta da!

Day 23: Co-mputers

There are days when it seems my life has been taken over my computers. Our life. School online, friends online, church online, devotions online, small group online, entertainment online, living maths lessons online, Minecraft online, school extra maths lessons online, podcasts on and offline, news online and even (one of my favourites) game drives online.

Turning off the tech yesterday was almost impossible. It felt like a huge beast breathing down my neck until I was so mentally exhausted I went to lie down with Le Tat who obligingly joined me, a black fuzzy blur on my white duvet. He even stayed for "how to better use your mac" online.

I sometimes feel like tossing it all in the big black bin outside. I am missing mountains and rivers and sea breezes and touch and smell and squinting at the distant places. Escaping this life that happens in the 30 - 40cm in front of my nose in multiple tiny electrodes and rays or whatever they are called.

That's my thought for today.

Day 22: Shhhh, co-llusion

Dear Dairy

Tonight I feel that you and I should renew our acquaintance. I don't mind a few nuts joining us. Just this once, as long as they are quite whole. Your milk chocolate face is so welcoming as I sneak off into the kitchen after banishing my children to bed tonight.

I do have a problem with your crinkle though. It's particularly loud. Although on occasion it does sound like the Lemon Creams, which is a saving grace.

Dearest Dairy, it's been a long day filled with thoughts of Kombucha. I promise that I am not enamoured of that living being. Although, I was a bit tempted at the Kombucha's blueberry-infused ice cream picture. It simply flaunted its creaminess. But never fear, I might have salivated but its you I have come to find at the end of this day.

Did you know that some people have to carry a permit to carry you to families in our city tonight? You are not considered essential services, along with light bulbs at Spar and baking trays at Pick n Pay.

I do want to reassure you, you are essential in my home during lockdown. Just a little meeting at the corner or even on the square. Now and then. When the children are in bed and HH is practicing his piano.

Farewell, my sweet Dairy, I look forward to our next intimate meeting.

Yours to the very last nut,
Me

Co-llision (Day 19,20,21)

Friday, Saturday and Sunday seemed to run into each other in a blur. A good blur. Let me see if I can find some visuals for the week-and-end, baby!

Friday was zoom meetings around the future of education in South Africa. Over 500 schools and educators from preschools to primary, secondary, tertiary and private schooling talking about HOW education is forever changed. The 80-20 despair of 80% of our schools not having access to online learning which means their pupils are excluded from learning. Realities of being held hostage by data costs. The exciting opportunities that can be unlocked. The possible return of education from scripted syllabi to creative teacher-led learning. Ying and yang.

At the same time, so grateful for partners like JAM International who bring nutritious porridge to preschools in impoverished areas... another ying (Khayelitsha below) and yang (my very privileged children in our middle class home).

Art challenge topic - mask. I thought I'd share my version of the lists that I dole out each day.

Saturday. Couch surfing (er, repair) day. Complete with Le Tat to inspect each stage and screw and possible hidey hole. This is a result of the craasshhhh we heard earlier in the week.

HD has been warned NOT to couch surf again. Even though we have done some major reinforcements!

Supper was happiness - home made pizza. Super quick, super easy and surprisingly, super cheap. A good end to the day!

And Sunday? A slow wake up, church online, some projects including washing the car, cleaning out a flower bed, sweeping out the workshop, applying for a Space TV show and editing the video for the application (hey, why not!) and binging on Colin Furze's maker videos. My pic of the day was Le Tat above. 

Palm Sunday. Art Lock challenge today was "Hand". I keep thinking about palms and hands and what that might mean. Hope in touch. We've ignored the news and social media and chosen to "be" today. 

HD's goodnight prayer tonight was "Lord Jesus, please help mom and dad as they re-enter work tomorrow". I whispered a heartfelt amen.

Co-mmon (Day 18)

Today started like most other days, coffee delivered by HH along with rusks, then a quick catch up on news and cuddle with HD, then onto shower and work. Had a good chuckle, particularly in the light of last night's post, when we got this message from a friend...

Giggle. Not sure where the Lord's peace has transcended to?

Otherwise DD made lovely brownies, there's been much progress on Typing Club (and a few anguished noises from HD), I managed to divert Minecraft and PnP did not arrive between 2 and 6 as promised with our much-anticipated groceries.  I still have a vague hope they might arrive. Maybe?!

Thinking of my friend whose 3 small daughters had to bury their much-loved cat today - it fell from their 3-storey apartment and didn't land on its feet. Sadness.

As we finish off the day with more Zoom calls, it's the common things that are precious. Sunsets, glimpses of Muizenberg as the light softened, noisy small boys, a girl who forgot how old she is and then smiled widely with brownie mix smeared all over her face.

C-ontact (Day 17)

Tired tonight. Feel a bit avalanched by Christians praying this and declaring that and people telling us all the 100 steps to take to sanitise your home when you get back from essential shopping and how masks are important (yes they are, mostly for health professionals). Yadayada. You know. Oh, and whatsapp groups that are pat-pat-dear with, I kid you not, more than 50 messages a day and only 3-6 people on the group.

Sorry, now I am ranting. Oops. Dear friends, not talking about you, my besties. You know that?!

I seem to be shedding social media right now!

Perhaps all these things help faith. But I think I am coming to realise that faith comes by hearing the Word of God (er, that's Jesus according to John 1v1). Not hearing the ding or the declaration or the admonition. It's about hearing Him whisper in the quietness. "You can do this" or "Share this moment with me".

This seems to be my quiet internal thinking season, not my loud out-there-verbalising season. I've just had a lovely long bath and thinking time all on my own which helps. No phone in sight. And now I am trying to put this down in words. Be kind to me - I am rambling tonight. It's been a full day.

Family are all ok - DD is colouring in art works and loving it. HD was trying to get back onto Minecraft which led to major arguments and unhappiness. I don't like the person he becomes when he plays and after he plays. This is a new challenge to deal with. HH is a rock and delight and wonderful at balancing our family boat when it wobbles.

Let me dive into it... I have spent the whole day thinking about my 21 day lockdown art challenge and today's topic. Healing.

What is the picture I have in my mind when it comes to healing? What pictures do other people have? I'm wrestling with how to articulate healing or visualise it explained in an image. Not the usual stuff. Perhaps the closest I have come today is the mental picture of a smaller hand being held in a larger hand. That kind of sounds more like "support" but... I think it's all about touch.

Touch. Reaching out. And on that note, I'm turning off the light and sliding into bed to the sound of gentle breathing next to me.