Where am I?

I am actually at home sitting in front of my computer - so that answers the cryptic question. And I am listening to my 10 year old son practice a very, erm, ongoing drum rhythm. My daughter is "practicing" her spelling using Quizlet and listening to music. I think it may be more about the music than the spelling. I am waiting to start a Zoom meeting and finishing off the ginger snaps I made two nights ago before anyone finds me with the tin (grin).

One more star...

We went hiking yesterday in the mountains above Kalk Bay. Beautiful vistas, energetic kids and puffing parents. And then we crawled through the caves and truly, seeing the lights ahead in the darkness was a moment to stop, reflect, to see. There is so much that is hidden in dark places. And so much becomes visible in the darkness - fear, laughter, courage, sadness, wonder, disgust, softness, claustrophobia, loudness. Some people keep moving to get out of the darkness, others try to return the way they came desperate to find the light. 

Encouragement. It's a powerful thing to live. To give. To share. It's free. It changes lives. Two little girls made it through those caves to find wonder and bravery hidden inside them.

One went in not wanting to go, saw the beauty of the inside and came out so confident.

The other went in confidently but halfway in, needed to get out desperately. She passed about ten people trying to go back to the entrance before I stopped her, hugged her, held her, showed her where we were and took her backpack. Then we went forward together and found the light was closer than we thought, because the exit was ahead of us.



This is an amazing song. It reminds me of that cave. Who cares if one child panicks? Who cares if one more light goes out, flickers?

I do.

F-bombs

I was having a heart-to-heart with my 10 year old son last night. One of those "it's time to turn the lights out - but Mom I want to chat" moments. When the real stuff that happened at school comes out and hopes and disappointments surface. Somehow night time is the vulnerable time where hearts can be shared safely.

"I want to kill her."

And so I found out about the f-bomb that exploded at school when small girl-S pushed my son just a bit too far. The two were pulled out of class and had to apologise to each other. But when the details of the story came out last night with a few sniffs and eye wipes, small girl-S and small girl-I have been teasing and teasing and laughing at my boy for a few weeks now. It makes lining up in the morning unbearable. And for a boy who dislikes being laughed at (at the best of times), it's torturous.

Thank goodness for lovely teachers who, when a situation and context is given, will help out and address this at school. It's also a real faith lesson to have to learn. How to deal with other kids, how to deal with words, how to forgive, how to return kindness, and especially how sharp answers stir wrath but soft answers bring peace.

Shew. Life lessons in Grade 4.

Encouragement - a gift and a weapon

Just 30 minutes after I wrote out the notes on a teaching I gave on encouragement I found this waiting on my FB feed... seems like this is on God's heart!

I had the privilege of doing some teaching on Monday night. It was fabulous! I felt alive and the teaching all just flowed and came together even though it was not something I had spent much time on - in fact, I only decided on the topic half an hour before the meeting. And what I taught on spoke to me so much. It's true, you can best teach what you have to live through!

The gift of encouragement

One of the gifts of the Spirit that is most ignored is one that is accessible to all believers, of every age. In fact, this is one of the most important gifts that God gives, and He gives it to everyone. We just need to use it.

This gift has changed history, given men and women and children great courage, helps people reach dreams (or have dreams), gives hope and brings life. It’s a no-fail present in a modern day of expensive tough-to-choose gifts for special occasions, because it is truly one of the few gifts that just keeps on giving. And the more you give this gift away, the more you personally receive.

WHAT IS ENCOURAGEMENT?

The dictionary defines encouragement as:

1.     the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.

"thank you for all your support and encouragement"

synonyms:	heartening, cheering, cheering up, buoying up, pepping up, uplifting, inspiration, rallying, motivation, incitement, stimulation,  animation, invigoration, invigorating, emboldening, fortification; More
antonyms:	discouragement, dissuasion, hindering

2.     persuasion to do or to continue something.

"incentives and encouragement to play sports"

3.     the act of trying to stimulate the development of an activity, state, or belief.

"the encouragement of foreign investment"

Just from this definition, we can learn several things about encouragement:

1.     It is an action or “doing word” which means it’s not passive

2.     It is a gift because it “gives someone support, confidence or hope”

3.     It can include persuasion – sometimes we need to reiterate the encouragement to do something so that our words go in and the recipient can take action.

4.     It stimulates development of different things: sometimes activity, sometimes belief, sometimes a change of attitude or state.

5.     Encouragement is stimulating – not only for the person receiving it, but also the person giving it.

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT ENCOURAGEMENT IN OUR TIME?

In a country that is currently unsettled and where many are anxious, we all need support, confidence and hope. What does the Bible say about encouragement?

Proverbs 12:25

25 Anxious fear brings depression, but a life-giving word of encouragement can do wonders to restore joy to the heart.

This is what I find:

·      Encouragement can be life-giving.

·      It restores joy.

·      It touches the heart, the deepest part of who we are.

·      Encouragement bypasses the head and hits the guarded out-of-reach places.

HOW CAN I APPLY ENCOURAGEMENT PRACTICALLY IN MY LIFE?

I’m a parent and encouragement is a key God has given me recently. I’m not sure why I have not used it before and more strategically! For those who are struggling to parent difficult children – and all children have their difficult moments when parenting is NOT fun - here’s what encouragement can do for your child (and for you).

2 Corinthians 2:7

7 Instead of more punishment, what he needs most is your encouragement through your gracious display of forgiveness.

There are days I would rather punish the icky behaviour, but this verse turns my anger around. This verse brings all those books I’ve read about connecting with my child’s heart into a grounded place. And it gives me practical advice on how to deal with my children. Parenting is not about picking up the rod of correction. It’s about looking at what my child needs most. Encouragement and forgiveness.

WHO CAN USE THIS GIFT?

Do you need to be a leader, a specially gifted person, in a position of influence or “set apart” to use this gift. No, not at all. And it’s not geographically tied to one location or people group. Paul is a great example. Yes, he was influential in the church in Jerusalem, in Turkey, Ephesus and Asia, but when he left Ephesus he travelled through Macedonia meeting new people groups and telling them about Jesus. He was an unknown traveller, yet look what the Bible says of him…

Acts 20:2

2 At every place he passed through, he brought words of great comfort and encouragement to the believers. Then he went on to Greece

It wasn’t all about Paul’s healing ministry, his marvellous preaching or his great acts of service and courage. Paul was recognised for being someone who brought words of great comfort and encouragement. Wherever he went.

Paul writes to Philemon, a rich slave owner who lived in Colossae, and says this:

Philemon 1:7

7 Your love has impacted me and brings me great joy and encouragement, for the hearts of the believers have been greatly refreshed through you, dear brother.

Philemon was an encourager. In fact, Paul says that he has heard (while in prison) of Philemon’s great love for the believers and his faith. Philemon is a man who refreshes the hearts of many believers (Phil 1:7).

THE FRUIT OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Every gift has fruit. Jesus says you can know a tree by its fruit. In the same way, we can see the value of gifts by the impact they have.

Scripture is one gift we have been given. The Scriptures were put together to instruct us how to live, and this verse is so important – it shows us the fruits of encouragement.

Romans 15:4

4 Whatever was written beforehand is meant to instruct us in how to live. The Scriptures impart to us encouragement and inspiration so that we can live in hope and endure all things.

The first fruit is to be able to live in hope. The second is to endure all things.

Surely every person on this earth needs to be able to live in hope and to endure all things?

Two other fruits of encouragement are help and grace.

Acts 18:27

27 Then Apollos, with the encouragement of the believers, went to the province of Achaia. He took a letter of recommendation from the brothers of Ephesus so his ministry would be welcomed in the region. He was a tremendous help to the believers and caused them to increase in grace.

Apollos – because someone used their gift of encouragement - travelled to Achaia, a trip not for the faint-hearted. He travelled by road, on foot, faced robbery, hardship, dust, aching legs, bad beds, rude fellow travellers, possibly seasickness. All because he was encouraged to go. And when he got to Achaia, he brought help to the believers. We are not told what help he brought, but we do know that his help caused them to increase in grace. All because someone gave Apollos a word of encouragement!

WHERE IS ENCOURAGEMENT FOUND?

We find encouragement from our fellow Christians.

Acts 13:15

15 After the reading from the scrolls of the books of Moses and the prophets, the leader of the meeting sent Paul and Barnabas a message, saying, “Brothers, do you have a word of encouragement to share with us? If so, please feel free to give it.”

We find encouragement in our relationship with the Anointed One.

Philippians 2:1

2 Look at how much encouragement you’ve found in your relationship with the Anointed One! You are filled to overflowing with his comforting love. You have experienced a deepening friendship with the Holy Spirit and have felt his tender affection and mercy.

As we spend time getting to know our God, we:

·      are filled with his comforting love

·      experience a deepening friendship with the Holy Spirit

·      feel his tender affection and mercy.

We are encouraged.

ARE WE COMMISSIONED TO USE THE GIFT OF ENCOURAGEMENT?

Yes, we are. Paul sent Tychicus with a commission.

Colossians 4:7

7–8 Tychicus will tell you about what is happening with me. I have sent him to you so that he could find out how you are doing in your journey of faith, and bring comfort and encouragement to your hearts. For he is a beloved brother in Christ, a faithful servant of the gospel and my ministry partner in our Master Yahweh’s work.

His commission was to:

·      tell the believers about Paul

·      find out how they were doing in their journey of faith (notice, faith is a journey, not a once-off stop)

·      bring comfort and encouragement to hearts

Not only was Tychicus commissioned to bring encouragement, Paul writes:

Romans 12:8

8 If you have the grace-gift of encouragement, then use it often to encourage others. If you have the grace-gift of giving to meet the needs of others, then may you prosper in your generosity without any fanfare. If you have the gift of leadership, be passionate about your leadership. And if you have the gift of showing compassion, then flourish in your cheerful display of compassion.

This is a direct command. Use the grace-gift of encouragement OFTEN.

ENCOURAGEMENT IS POWERFUL

We see Paul write to Timothy:

1 Timothy 1:18

18–19 So Timothy, my son, I am entrusting you with this responsibility, in keeping with the very first prophecies that were spoken over your life, and are now in the process of fulfillment in this great work of ministry, in keeping with the prophecies spoken over you. With this encouragement use your prophecies as weapons as you wage spiritual warfare by faith and with a clean conscience.

Paul entrusted Timothy to take over leadership of the church, in keeping with the prophecies first spoken over Timothy’s life. Then Paul encourages him, and says “with this encouragement use your prophecies as weapons”. Both the encouragement and the prophecies were weapons.

Not just the prophecies, not just the encouragement. Both together.

Let’s go back to the dictionary definition:

Encouragement is the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.

Encouragement is persuasion to do or to continue to do something.

Encouragement is the act of trying to stimulate development of an activity, state or belief.

Some other words you can use for “encouragement” are heartening, cheering, cheering up, buoying up, pepping up, uplifting, inspiration, rallying, motivation, incitement, stimulation, 

animation, invigoration, invigorating, emboldening, fortification

Words you can use that are opposite to encouragement are to dissuade, to hinder or to discourage (take courage out of).

HOW DO WE USE ENCOURAGEMENT AS OUR WEAPON

1.     Use your grace-gift to encourage others.

2.     Listen to the encouragement that you are given and think about those words.

3.     Fill your heart with the Scriptures so that you develop a deeper intimate relationship with God – His word is living and active, so if you have read it and keep reading it, it is alive in you.

4.     Know that God is the one who gives (places into you) the desires of your heart. He also fulfils them. Your destiny is linked to the place and work and actions that make you feel most fulfilled and alive. Those desires are your calling and destiny.

5.     Don’t give up!  Encourage yourself and encourage others. Sometimes encouragement feels a lot like persuasion!

6.     Know that giving away encouragement – whether it’s a heartfelt “well done”, a pat on the back, a scripture, a testimony of goodness, leads to a harvest.

Encourage. To put courage into. To support, give confidence to. To bring hope.

Proverbs 12:25 says a life-giving word of encouragement can do wonders to restore joy to the heart.

Keeping my chin up

It's been a month now since the nerves between C4, 5 and 6 decided they could take it no longer and simultaneously blew out. Agonising pain down radiating down my neck, into my shoulder blade, down my left arm and racing over my forearm into my hand. Pain that was relieved only temporarily when I raised my left arm. Physio, doctor, painkillers, chiropractor (several times), x-rays and finally I am left with stabs of warning for any incautious movement and a (I hope not permanently) numb left forefinger on the end bit. Occasionally my right hand starts to deaden too. The space between 4, 5 and 6 has narrowed and my foramen (the holes where the nerves exit the vertebra) are compromised too.

We've tossed memory foam pillows at this new challenge, a new computer monitor, a wobble stool (yes, it wobbles), a neck brace, pilates classes, raised keyboard, lumbar pillow and more. Compressed disks are not fun and I am trying to stand head tall at all times instead of my usual slouch. Oh gosh.

Moments of despair and wondering if I will ever be able to swim again (avoiding neck extensions) or climb again. Walking is fine. Sitting not so fine. Picking up stuff is a no-no. Even bending to empty or fill the dishwasher is still sore. Driving has its moments.

Being sore sucks.

Yet, in the midst of massive medical costs - don't discount (ha ha) how expensive doctors and chiropractors and physios are - AND tax returns, I am so grateful for God's amazing provision for us.

Whenever I think of the pain of life, I am reminded that we are not promised "no pain" by Jesus, but given the promise that He will be with us, even to the end of the age. Whatever age I am given to live to, He will be with me.

I love kintsukuroi. I think our lives are more beautiful for the gold that melts into the broken places that make us imperfect but more real. So you can colour the picture below with some gold. You can't see it right now, but I know that it is there.

Unexpected journeys

Life is not a journey in a straight line. It has these inevitable squiggles. And moments when you are washed up on the shore, looking back at the water as the tide retreats. Knowing the tide will come back in is not all that comforting, however. It rates with the comfort of "this too shall pass". Huh!

I took our eldest to a biokineticist yesterday to sort out her shocking posture. Banana would an apt description of how she sits, lies and wanders around. Knowing she has pectus excavatum meant I took the slouch for granted. Each meal time is a combination of "sit ups" and "stop slouching" and "push your shoulders back" plus of course the ever-ongoing "no farting at the table" and "no, we DON'T talk about that at dinner time, please"!

Anyway, it seems she has scoliosis or "a bent spine". And the best time to treat it is now or it will worsen by a degree per year after her growing years. Huff.

Of course I consulted Dr Google and now am persuaded we can't just leave it but do need to deal with it asap. It's a hard conclusion but, looking at my daughter's asymmetrical chest, jutting out shoulder blades, hip that is pushed forward and deep, deep dent, it's time to cut back on the nice-to-haves and keep digging deeper in the pocket that somehow, miraculously, God will have to fill again.

I am not prepared for this journey. With a neck that aches as I type. To be honest I would like to put my head on my hands and cry. Or pick up a book and lose myself in someone else's story.

This is my story now. Her story. Our story as her parents. We must choose how we will continue to write it. In x-rays and physio and maybe support groups.

Dear Lord, help us as you have walked this road already with countless others. I'm learning afresh that we do not choose our path.

What is love?

Taking a moment to think about this. Love is kisses, coffee in bed, a touch as we bump in the kitchen, laughing at a crazy cat, tripping over shoes, warmth at night, phone calls, puffing up mountains, hanging off ropes, a hand held out. It's dreams shared and losses wept over, inspecting scrapes, doing homework, clapping at concerts, trading stories, pulling hair out in frustration, lunchboxes, birthday parties for kids and Grand Prixs. Finding faith and hope in mundane things like washing dishes, emptying compost, forgiveness, soft words, hungry goldfish and cleaning pools. More than 18 years of all of the above. I still can't quite define love, but I can feel and see it in how my husband chooses me over and over again. #Loved!

Super days

I have just waved my family off. I hope I remembered to smile. The last seven days have been a blur of amazing, precious, awesome, memory-making events. But shew. I am going to call a halt to it. After the School Picnic tomorrow night.

Let me summarise: 15 metres of contact plastic, 15 specialised lunchboxes, 1 gala, 1 sports day, 2 three-hour cricket matches (one in Bergvliet and the other in Fish Hoek), 2 cricket practices, 1 monster blow-out by Luke on Monday night, 2 tennis practices, 1 early choir/tennis morning, 3 school meetings, 2 babysitting reciprocates, 5 visits to Lost Property, 4 visits to the Clothing Shop, 2 orals, 2 spelling tests, 1 church meeting, 1 evening birthday party, 1 walk at Silvermine, work, 6 suppers, 1 guest out from the UK, 1 overactive lovable early morning kitten...

After being out Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week (and Friday/Sat last week), I called my Thursday night planning group and told them I had to cancel.

There's so much to be thankful for. Special friends, celebrations, Luke bowling two wickets in his first ever cricket match, time with Adam, getting some exercise in, a school community that is supportive and invested in my children, teachers who really do care, opportunities, the blessing of being able to put together healthy delicious meals. I am overflowing with gratitude.

Today is the first day that I know I am at my desk until 2pm. Luke plays his first school tennis match this afternoon with two of his big mates, Liam and Brett. He is passionate about tennis and has found his niche in cricket. Jessica is enjoying her class and settling in well.

I return to this moment. THESE precious few seconds and minutes are mine. A pause in which to be grateful. To lay down that light sabre. To seek out the quiet waters where my soul can be restored.

#ThankYouForThisMomentRightNow